After so many years observing people (and myself!) in the complicated
game of love, I can say this: often times, you don’t fall in love with a
person. You fall in love with something else.
Most often, people fall in love with their own imagination of the
perfect man/woman. You meet somebody, you barely know him/her, and then
you start imposing your own ideals of a soulmate onto the person.
Problem begins when the illusion starts to shatter, and you start to see
‘the real him/her’. And tragically, you accuse the person of ‘having
changed’ – although it was your own eyes which finally opened.
Often times, people fall in love not with a person, but a “way out”.
You are feeling lonely, you just don’t want to be alone and miserable,
and you see this person as a ‘solution’. Then, you are falling in love
with the solution to your problem, not with a person.
Some people fall in love with “agenda”. You have made plans for your
life: when to find a partner, when to get married, when to have
children, etc. And then you see this person as the fulfilment of your
life’s “Outlook calendar”. Again, you are falling in love with your life
schedule, not with a person.
Some others fall in love with “therapy”. You were broken inside, you
have mental scars, you have childhood trauma. And then you find this
person whom you think can cure you. Then, you are falling in love with
the therapy for your own soul illness, not with a person.
And few lucky ones, find that one person, see his/her true soul, and fall in love. Few lucky ones, fall in love, with a person.
disadur dari buku Cinta [Tidak Harus] Mati, Henry Manampiring
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